I wish I only lived at night.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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