Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
