your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
