24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
