we have officially lost it.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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