we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
