I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
