trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
