it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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