so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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