Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
