What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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