ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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