Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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