My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
