you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
