so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
