I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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