did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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