I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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