Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
