therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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