Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
false alarm, still single
Randomize
