she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
FUCK WHALES
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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