when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
