thus making me awesome and them whores
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
