I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The adults are the big ones right?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
