I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
