It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
