Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
