I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
