Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
