Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
