She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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