it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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