Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
