the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The struggles of a small town man whore
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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