Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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