I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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