after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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