Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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