I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
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