just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
