oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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