This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
