She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
