So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
