I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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