I puked a lego.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
