So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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